Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
