Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
