lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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