i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
