what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
