if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
