Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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