Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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