Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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