..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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