walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize