just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
