Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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