you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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