She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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