i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
if i died would you start the facebook group?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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