what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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