I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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