Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
