Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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