Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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