She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
