Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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