Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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