You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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