Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
