New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
