Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
