I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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