I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just google imaged poop.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize