Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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