I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Terrible idea I love it
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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