sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize