On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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