i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
