Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
