this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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