Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
