and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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