Pants 0. Shit 1.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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