Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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