Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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