WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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