you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize