2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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