last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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