He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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