My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
