So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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