I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
