apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
