i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
