Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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