Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
