East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
