I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
