im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
